To the woman who helped me not be afraid of monsters
This Tribute is for you
I love you Mom
As I have looked back on the last 40 years one woman comes to my mind. My Mom
She brought me into this world and protected me with every tool that she had.
Her life in all respects could have been a lifetime movie filled with twists, turns, pivots, grief, loss, and longing.
But, she never gave up, through it all she never gave up.
That is what I remember the most. That is the biggest tool she taught me. To not be afraid of the monsters in the world.
She never backed down even from an early age while being pushed off on family member to family member.
She spent her childhood trying to figure out who she was in the big world. She grew up fast, maybe faster than she ever really wanted to. She learned to be resilient. Oh boy! Resilency could have been her super power tool.
She married young and was thrusted into a dark world full of chaos, heartbreak, and mischief. But, once again she never gave up. She became the super hero of her own story and the SuperWoman of mine.
She had my sister in her late teens and me in her early twenties. The 80’s were all the rage. I mean look at that hairdo she is sporting. Total Smokeshow!
As you would think I grew up in the 80’s/90’s and remember my mom would clean the house to bands like Journey, AC/DC, Def Leppard. I would watch her dance around the house while dusting. My ultimate memory is when she dressed up as Micheal Myers and chased me around the house when I was little. Probably started my love of halloween right then and there. Oh those were the days. She took care of us by day and by nighttime she would be back slaying dragons and chaos.
My mom really was the ultimate Badass.
My childhood was where I learned to meet the monsters head on. To be resilient, To not give up in the face of scrutiny. She probably doesn’t know this but she taught me so many things that became invaluable in my adult life. Above all else she taught me to not be a victim to my circumstance.
My mom faced many hardships in her life, some private and some public.
But, she never gave up. And for that I am forever grateful and inspired.
My mom dove head first into Mom hood! She didn’t always know what she was doing but she made it look pretty solid through the chaos. She became the Superhero in the game called life. She taught me how to be a good human and to not look down on anyone that had less than me. She taught me how to stand up for myself and stand up for others. Some of the other things that she taught me but probably didn’t mean to:
Not putting any man or woman before myself
Not losing myself in relationships
Not being someone I’m not
Not letting the monsters win
Not succumbing to lifes circumstances
Not being a doormat for other people
Not stopping when education seemed hard
Honestly, she taught me all the things to do and all the things not to do just by watching her life unfold. She literally became the ultimate mom. Not the mom who had all of the answers or did everything right but the mom who taught me life lessons and helped me be the woman I became to this day.
I often think, how did she ever survive her life.
How did she make it through the sleepless nights, starting over, going through trials, losing her husbands, grief, loss, abuse, late night trips to women’s shelters, putting food on the table, dealing with public scrutiny, and trying to be a stable mom all at the same time. I will never know the full weight of the world that my mom has carried for decades but what I do know is that she protected me with everything she had.
She slayed the dragons so that I could grow up to be a superhero in my own story.
I look back at her life and think wow. thats my mom!
After watching my mom go through all of her hardships it was no surprise that I never wanted children. I think the universe brought me Human children in bulldog form. Rome and Oakley entered the picture and my mom became a grandma to bulldogs. Just so you know she didn’t miss out on the human grandchildren as she has three. I might be biased but she became the coolest grandma ever. Bulldog babysitting, snacks, farts, slobbers, and late night cuddles with the boys.
She taught me that being a fur mom to my boys has been the greatest gift of my lifetime and honestly watching my mom go through everything she helped me get clear on what I wanted. So I became the coolest aunt, bulldog mom, caretaker to adults, cheerleader to women empowerment, activist, and all around mini baddie! Compliments of my mom.
She taught me everything and so much more.
Mom I will forever love you! Your journey helped me create mine! You helped me create my voice.
Love your Daughter and your number 1 fan!
